


we are the lucky ones

by ithilien22



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e08 Love is a Devil, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 15:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11039115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ithilien22/pseuds/ithilien22
Summary: The night of Max's rune ceremony, Magnus finds Alec on his balcony again. (Episode coda for 2x08 - Alec goes to Magnus after hearing Maryse's news.)





	we are the lucky ones

**Author's Note:**

> I already wrote a 2x08 coda, but I rewatched it today and realized I had more ~feelings about it, so. Be forewarned, this is pretty sappy, even for me lmao. <3
> 
> Also, this fic assumes that the rune ceremony took place several days after the ill-fated party, so the party events aren't the focus. If you want to read something more along those lines, check out the other 2x08 coda I wrote right after the ep aired (but take heed of the content warnings), [what do we deserve?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9873932)

Alec has been sitting on the balcony for nearly an hour when Magnus finds him, slipping out through the French doors with a glass of wine and a bemused smile.

“You know, I have a front door,” he remarks casually. “You’ve used it once or twice even, I believe.”

Alec shrugs.

“I like it out here,” he says, aiming for as close to the truth as he’s willing to get. “It’s a good place to think.”

“I see,” Magnus replies, taking a sip of his drink. “And what are we thinking about this evening?”

Alec shrugs again, looking out over the still bustling city below. When he glances back at Magnus, his eyes are still soft, but something in his expression has hardened the tiniest bit.

“It was on this very balcony, I believe, that we talked about you not pushing me away when things got hard,” he says. “You’re here, and that’s a step, I suppose-”

“Magnus,” Alec cuts him off, a slow smile hinting at the corners of his mouth. “Can I come in?”

Magnus reaches out a hand and helps pull Alec off of the fire escape and into the balcony proper. He doesn’t let go as they make their way into the apartment.

“Drink?” he asks, Alec guesses mostly on reflex, but Alec shakes his head, pulling away to sit down heavily on the couch. Magnus moves as if to refill his own, but instead it disappears in a spark of blue fire and he joins Alec on the couch.

“I found out something about my parents tonight,” Alec tells him. “About my father.”

He pauses, his thoughts still a tangled mess inside his head. Magnus waits him out.

“There was no important Clave meeting keeping him from Max’s party,” he says, bitterness creeping into his words. “I mean, I’m sure there was, there always is, but that’s- that’s not why he wasn’t there.”

He stands from the couch abruptly and moves to pace in front of it. 

“He’s been cheating on her,” he blurts, pausing his back and forth movement to face Magnus on the couch. “Magnus, you should’ve- you. You should’ve heard some of the shit he said about you, when he- he was the one who-”

Alec stops mid-thought, too upset to remember what he was trying to say.

“Alec, I’m sorry,” Magnus starts to say, but Alec barely registers his voice.

“I know my mother isn’t your favorite person,” he says, pacing again. “She’s not always mine either, but I- You should have seen her, Magnus. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her like that.”

“I may not be Maryse’s biggest fan,” Magnus agrees gently. “But no one deserves to go through that. Trust me, I know.”

“But she just pretends it doesn’t get to her,” Alec says, spinning around to face Magnus again, his expression incredulous. “She told me she couldn’t ‘let her problems get in the way of her duty’. She- that’s what she always taught me. She thinks emotions are distractions. Weakness.”

Alec’s shoulders slump slightly, a tinge of exhaustion seeping into the end of his tirade. Magnus reaches out to him and Alec lets himself be guided back down to the couch.

“Do you agree with her?” Magnus asks.

“I don’t know,” Alec answers truthfully, closing his eyes, as if that will somehow help him to get a handle on his thoughts. He takes a breath, and then another.

“Sometimes I come here and I’m with you, and it’s like this is the only safe place in this entire city,” he says, “and I feel...”

He trails off, unsure. Magnus’s hand reaches out for his and Alec takes it gratefully. 

“How do you feel?” Magnus prompts gently.

Alec opens his eyes to see the concern mirrored in Magnus’s. He swallows thickly.

“I feel so,” Alec tries again. He wonders if Magnus can feel his hands trembling. “I feel so incredibly selfish, Magnus. Why do I get to have this, when everything else is falling apart?”

“Why are you finding happiness while your mother loses hers?” Magnus says softly. “Or why are you alive when Jocelyn’s dead?”

Alec blanches, moving as if to pull back, but Magnus squeezes his hand gently.

“War, infidelity, death – terrible things are a part of life, but that doesn’t mean we don’t keep moving forward,” Magnus tells him. “Happiness in the midst of tragedy – any tragedy – isn’t selfish, Alec. It doesn’t belittle the pain you feel, it just helps make it bearable.”

Alec feels himself shaking his head slightly, and Magnus squeezes his hand again.

“You’re allowed to want things for yourself, Alec,” he says. “That doesn’t make you a bad son. Or a bad friend.”

“I just,” Alec swallows past the growing lump in his throat. “I- You’re so-”

He cuts himself off again, frustrated at his own ineloquence. Magnus has such a way with words, Alec can already feel his heart rate calming, just from being here, letting Magnus voice and touch soothe him. He understands logically what Magnus is saying but he still feels like he doesn’t deserve it. He couldn’t possibly.

“I’m just,” he leans forward until his forehead is resting against Magnus’s. “I’m really glad I met you, Magnus.”

Magnus smiles in that soft, surprised way of his that he seems to save for when Alec does something he’s not expecting, like the one he’d worn when he opened the stupid gift Alec had bought for him at the market. It’s one of Alec’s favorite smiles.

“Stay with me tonight,” he says, and Alec’s nodding before the words are even fully formed. 

When he wakes up the next morning, sunlight slowly filtering in through the curtains and Magnus’s strong arms wrapped around him tight, he realizes that the heavy guilt that had settled in his stomach the night before doesn’t feel nearly as heavy in the light of a new dawn.

He shifts to turn around in Magnus’s embrace, careful not to wake him, and takes a moment to memorize the lines of Magnus’s face, softened with the peace of sleep. This isn’t something he ever wants to feel guilty about, he realizes.

Magnus blinks awake slowly, a smile parting his lips so invitingly that Alec can’t help but steal a tiny kiss.

“Good morning,” Magnus says, smile growing.

_Lucky_ , Alec realizes as he returns the sentiment, pulling Magnus closer. What he feels more than anything else when he’s with Magnus is lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> come prompt me on [tumblr](https://ithilien-writes.tumblr.com/) <3


End file.
